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Let it be

Grief is a thing we all have in common, but it looks different on everyone. It isn't just death we have to grief, if's life, it's loss, it's change. And we wonder why we have to suffer so much sometime, have to be hurt so bad. But when it hurt so much you can't breathe, that's just how you survive. And we know that one day, somehow, impossibly, it won't feel this way, it won't hurt this much. Grief comes in its own time for everyone, in its own way. So the best we can do, best of anyone can do, is try to be honesty. However, the very worst part of grief, is that u can't control it. We just try to let ourselves feel it when it comes, and let it go when we can. And when u think u get over it, it starts all over again, and always, everytime, it takes your breath away.

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Never say goodbye

This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend your baby your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say byebye
Mamas daddys sisters friends and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandpas
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye
As a child there were them times
I didn't get it but you kept me in line
I didn't know why you didn't show up sometimes
On sunday mornings and I missed u
But I'm glad we talked through
All them grown folk things
Seperation brings
U never let me know it
U never let it show because
U loved me and obviously
There are so much more left to say
If u were with me today, face to face
Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on
I wish I could talk to u for a while
Miss U but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that u 've reached a better place
Still i've give the world to see your face
And be right here next to u
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do, is say byebye
And u never got a chance
To see how good I done
And u never got to see me
Back at number one
I wish that you were here
To celebrate together
I wish that we could spend, the holidays together
I remember when u used to
Tuck me in at night
With tthe teddy bear u gave me
That I held so tight
I thought u were so strong
You's make it through whatever
It's so hard to accept the fact You're gone forever
Never knew I could hurt like this
And everyday life goes on
I wish I could talk to u for a while
Miss U but I try not to cry
As time goes by
And it's true that u 've reached a better place
Still i've give the world to see your face
And be right here next to u
But it's like you're gone too soon
Now the hardest thing to do, is say byebye
This is for my people who just lost somebody
Your best friend your baby your man or your lady
Put your hand way up high
We will never say byebye
Mamas daddys sisters friends and cousins
This is for my people who lost their grandpas
Lift your head to the sky
Cause we will never say bye
                           ---Mariah Carey,<Bye bye>.
 
This is for my dear dear dear grandpa.
Key in every word, and try not to cry in front of other people. Right now I can't say a word, and the tear just keeps coming out for days in the dark...it's so true so helpless to feel like hurt like this...
But it's true that u 've reached a better place, lift our head to the sky,and we will never say byebye.


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Change

Time flies, we may look the same, we probably do. The change isn't visible, at least not most of us. But we are all changed, completely, forever. But that's normal, it's a biological change.
Change is constant, how we experience change, that's up to us. It can feel like death, or it can feel like a second chance of life. If we open our fingers, go with it, it can feel like pure regeneration. Like any moment, we can have another chance of life. Like any moment, we can be born, all over again.
Biology says we are who we are from birth, that our DNA is sand and stone, unchangeable. Our DNA doesn't account for all of us, though. We are human, life changes, all the time. We develop new trace. We learn from our mistakes, we face our greatest fears. However, for better or worse, we find a way to become more than our biology...The risk, of course, is that we can not change too much. To the point, we do recognize ourselves. Finding our way back can be difficult, there is no compass, no map, we just close our eyes, take a step, and hope to god we get there.
...
Sitting around the house, waiting, I just spent my time worrying...and, wasting
Life is short, think less, just do.

Posted in 疯语真言 | Tagged | 1 Comment

2010.10.10

Suppose I should write something today, but nothing comes out...
Fine, whatever, just a mark could be ok.
And,
Everything will be OK!

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最有魅力的时刻

阳光灿烂,天空碧蓝,桂花飘香。这个季节真的是南京城最富魅力的时刻,深呼吸,就觉得一切都值得。
好久没画画,但不觉得生疏,比起18岁以前经常画画的年纪,反而迅速而成品效果好,虽然只是临摹,原来笔触这回事是随着心在变化的啊。

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夏の終わり

在我的个人感觉里,一年四季中,只有夏天的样子是悠闲的,缓慢的。至于为什么,说不上来,就是一种认知。
而闲适的夏天,还是会被唾弃的吧。
现在,今年的这个夏天,已经结束了。

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ただいま

ただいま。。。
非常的想把这句话说出口,可现在却还无法说。

BTW,日语没过,只差一点,但已经算欣慰,毕竟我只看了上册的标日,12月一定要过N2。

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Tone

下午的时候,阳光很明媚。可是天空中分明是厚厚的云层。
下意识的去打开空调,实际上并不是不能忍受的热度。
夏天,真是个折磨人意志力的季节。可当处在38度的高温的正午的室外的时候,当一切没有了选择项,没有了那个可以按下的按钮,不也好好的熬了过来,那流下的汗水,晒黑的皮肤,都是自我保护的最后防线。只是不够舒服罢了。你看,其实没有什么是不可或缺的,没有什么是必不可少的,没有什么,是真正重要的。
狗狗安静的睡在地板上,安静的像一具尸体。轻轻的拨弄一下,又会温顺的把头靠在我的脚背上,任人抚摸。它是喜欢被爱抚的生物,及其的喜欢。被抚摸大概是它存在的终极意义吧,被主人需要着的感觉,借由那温柔的抚摸传达着,活着的,价值。

*****************************************************************

最近的存在感很淡,非常的淡薄,下一秒就会变得透明然后消失了一样。
其实最近我一直尝试写字,写一些别的字,比如说,用得上连续的感叹号,或者像电影画面一样快速跳跃的字,但总是无法成功。写得下来的,可以稍微有一点点篇幅的就是上述那样的调调,我已经很厌烦这样的调调了,我需要改变,改变改变改变!!!See,就是类似这样的调调...
罢了,人活着,其实大部分的时间里都是孤独的存在着的个体。彼此有交接,却终究敌不过自己的内核的引力。我无法再去细说什么,存在的价值,也只能说是被自己一点点剥夺掉的,原因很多,很复杂,搅拌在一起之后,就成了现在的状态。想重建,不简单,不过也好,至少不用去修修补补,推倒一切重新来过的话,建好的几率应该比完全补好的几率要大。这么想的话,算一个开始了吗?
。。。
果然有一点很正确,人活着,不该想太多。

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Miss Somebody

今年夏天刚开始的时候入手的一瓶香水,Miss Dior Cherie L`Eau,甜心精灵淡香。
介于去年夏天整个浸在David Doff的男香中,今年还是回归了。
是很清新的花香,很适合夏天,但是稍微甜一点的味道我还是接受不了,所以最后还是拿了绿的这个。

平面AD很活泼,和电视AD如出一辙。
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画外音;如果这样可以让我的存在感增加的话。。。

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